Infidelity and Acceptance.
What do you say to a boy of 18 years when he expresses shock of seeing a parent with someone else other than his legal partner? It was difficult to explain to him anything between howls of the cry of ‘why’ and the feeling of disgust. He confessed to actually puking a few times when he saw his mother after the incident and just couldn’t have a normal conversation with her. He also suffered from pangs of guilt keeping the secret he was carrying within himself and not disclosing to his father. Although he could not see the man she was with he was pretty certain of his identity. Unable to hold his emotions he did follow them once to ascertain and was shocked to see her with a close friend of his father.
He came to Hallo happiness not knowing whom to talk to about this. The guilt of not telling his father was also eating’s conscience. He was living with this constant fear of his father discovering the liaison and was blaming himself for not telling him in advance to save him from an emotional shock of sudden discovery. His relationship with his girlfriend of 3 years was also impacted since he lost all confidence in close relationships and could not discuss with her due to the stigma and she becoming judgmental about his family. Unable to bear the plethora of emotions he finally sought help from a confidential source like Hallohappiness and with time is able to release the emotion of guilt impacting his personal relationship and future. As counselors, we only attempt to address the issues of the persons who seek our help since we can’t control the world around them. With time and regular counseling he has been able to reconstruct his life understanding deeper layers in relationships and has developed resilience and ability to handle a difficult emotional situation.
Guilt as an emotion can damage the normal behavior of a person and can lead to traumatic close relationships in the future also. Undoing guilt as an emotion nurtured from some flaw discovered in a close relationships can be even more traumatic and difficult to overcome. But the human mind is extremely resilient and has the capacity to decipher and justify emotional actions with in-depth understanding, given a chance and the right environment.